If Only We Knew

Gary Burnison is CEO of Korn Ferry and the author of Love, Hope & Leadership: A Special Edition.

My eyes misted as I gave him a final hug. Yet as I left there were no regrets. Only gratitude for one more story, one last good-bye….

I’ll never forget when I got that call a few years ago. As soon as I heard my cousin’s voice, there was no mistaking her meaning. Immediately, I booked a flight to Kansas to see my uncle—just one last time.

When I arrived at the nursing home, the sight of him caught my breath. My uncle, one of the strongest people I’d ever known, had become so frail. But there he was—still smiling at me.

Sitting in that quiet, sterile room, the last thing I wanted to do was break down in front of him. He knew and I knew—but we let it be the unspoken truth.

That day gave me something I’ve carried ever since—the realization that regret and gratitude are two sides of the same coin. On one side are all the words left unspoken. On the other are all the opportunities to say what needs to be said.

In every moment we have a choice.

The colleague who feels isolated and unrecognized…. If only we knew.

The co-worker who is burdened by a loss, a diagnosis, a life-changing event…. If only we knew.

That someone who hides suffering, yet somehow always has a cheerful smile…. If only we knew.

Or even the person who’s just simply having a bad day…. If only we knew.

And all those joyful milestones of weddings, births, anniversaries, and celebrations of special moments for people around us…. If only we knew.

Instinctively, we probably do know.

For families, loved ones, and friends—from those celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday to those in the workplace and all who lead others—an attitude of gratitude starts with two small but extremely powerful words: thank you. Or, said in different ways, I believe in you. I see you. I value you. You matter; you make a difference.

Indeed, that’s why grace and gratitude are two of life’s most precious gifts.

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