Should Parents Crash Job Interviews?

When the recent college graduate entered the workforce, she came with a plus-one. First her father helped her write a résumé. Then her mother forwarded that résumé to an old colleague, seeking an internship on her daughter’s behalf. When the graduate was invited to interview, her parents practiced questions with her. And they went still further: During her video interview, her dad sat off camera, coaching her.

For decades, parents have helped their offspring connect with jobs. But with the job market so rough for Gen Zers, some are taking an unprecedented step: One in five Gen Zers say that a parent has attended their job interview (15% in-person, 5% online), according to a survey by Zety. To be sure, firms typically will object to a parent’s presence, but may relent (or simply may not be aware, particularly if it’s a Zoom call). Either way, HR experts say it’s not a great way to launch a career. “Relying on parents runs the risk of Gen Z taking a bit longer to think for themselves and take individual credit for their careers,” says  Karen Huang, senior director of search assessment at Korn Ferry.

The larger issue, of course, is parental help in general. Historically, most moms and dads have tried to help their kids start their careers, but today, with firms freezing so much hiring while awaiting AI developments, recent grads are facing one of the toughest job markets in a generation. As a result, the survey found, nearly half of Gen Zers (44%) say that their parents  have helped them draft a résumé, while one in five have had a parent reach out to an employer on their behalf. For his part, seasoned HR veteran Dennis Deans, global human resources business partner at Korn Ferry, isn’t sure how much this kind of help matters: Recently, he tried to coach his college-age daughter on her résumé. But after returning from her career-studies class a week later, she said the résumé was off the mark. “I thought, ‘Hold on here!’” he laughs.

Iktimal Daneshvar, Korn Ferry’s vice president for recruitment process outsourcing, EMEA, had a similar experience. Her mother once attended a job interview with her. They were traveling together, and planned to go shopping afterward. Rather than waiting downstairs, where Daneshvar left her, her mother came up into the office lobby. “When I came out, she shook everyone’s hands, and said, ‘Did she get the job or not?’” Daneshvar didn’t get it, but later ran into the same colleagues. “They never let me live it down.”

To be sure, children tapping into their parents’ expertise and networks for career furtherance is, in some circles, not even notable. The same parents who helped their children become successful teenagers don’t drop the ball when they turn twenty. “It’s widely understood that if you have those connections, you use them,” says organizational strategist Kim Waller. “Some of the onus is on us, as parents, in terms of the expectations we’ve set.” There’s a term for it in the Arab world: wasta. It means using personal connections or influence to gain jobs or favor for siblings, cousins, and other family members. “We see it quite a lot. It’s not a taboo,” says Daneshvar, who works in Dubai, and has seen hiring teams devoted to processing wasta referrals. “It’s resented, particularly by people who aren’t in those families.”

What has changed is young people’s level of comfort with talking about it publicly. “Past generations were more discreet,” says Huang. Today’s TikTokers openly discuss how they landed an interview. Parental help, she adds, “doesn’t feel like an infringement on independence for Gen Z.” And it doesn’t necessarily end with résumé and interview prep: According to the survey, some 18% say their parents help them negotiate pay, with one in ten going so far as to talk directly to the employer about it.

Experts suggest drawing a line in the sand for parents, given that their involvement isn’t always helpful: Their advice is fine, as are things like sharing a contact’s email address. But “doing it for them is crossing the line,” says Deans. Indeed, if a parent were to try to join an interview she was conducting, says organizational strategist Maria Amato, senior client partner at Korn Ferry, she would “graciously” offer them a coffee or water and a seat outside the interview room. “Yes, I would 100% judge the candidate for that,” she says, emphasizing that young people need, above all, to handle their own interviews and make their own connections. Even with familial connections, she says, “networking is still critical.” 

Learn more about Korn Ferry’s Organization Strategy capabilities.

Read more This Week in Leadership articles