Crying at Work: Another New Normal?

The first year, the recent British graduate thought his job in finance was great. The London-based role was as advertised, and the pay was good. 

But over time, the stress of the role ratcheted up higher and higher. One day it became too much. At his desk, he began to cry.

Weeping at work is now more common than it was a few decades ago, when it was often looked down upon. “There is definitely a generational change,” says Grant Duncan, Korn Ferry’s senior client partner, managing director and sector lead for consumer, EMEA. “Showing your emotions is more acceptable.” 

Indeed, a recent survey across the United Kingdom found that one in three UK workers have cried at work over the previous 12 months. It was skewed by gender: 66% of those who cried were women, and 34% were men. “Women who cry at work often face a competence penalty, but men do not,” says Drew Hill, a senior client partner for Korn Ferry based in the firm's London office.

The study also found that older cohorts cried far less than younger ones. Thirty-four percent of those who cried belonged to Gen Z (the group born between 1995 and 2012), while a mere 7% were boomers. 

When people are crying at work, savvy leaders need to know why. “Context is everything,” says Emma Cornwall, Korn Ferry’s senior client partner and solution lead for leadership and professional development in UK and Ireland. For instance, if there is a mass layoff at a company, she says, you would expect some people to be crying. 

But what if the weeping occurs disproportionately in certain parts of the company? If there is no obvious reason for people to be crying, you need to find out what is happening, Cornwall says: “We as leaders need to be curious.” That means examining where people work and the nature of their relationships with supervisors. “If people are having an emotional response when nothing obvious has happened, then you need to pay attention,” she says. The boss may be disparaging his employees, which may call for some re-education.

Sometimes, people burn out because their roles are inherently challenging. Some of the most stressful include education, healthcare, finance, government, hospitality, and construction. The survey found that in the majority of cases, crying at work stemmed from two primary causes: Fifty-five percent of those who cried said stress was the root cause, and 27% pointed to burnout, itself a consequence of stress. 

“Some big tech firms find emotional transparency is important in leadership,” Hill says. The most effective leaders tend to be less composed, he says. “They don’t have to cry, but emotional transparency builds authenticity with clients and colleagues.”

That’s where savvy leaders can make a positive difference. As humans observing people in distress, we have a natural response to want to stop it, Cornwall says. But that isn’t what is usually needed. “Try not to jump into solving it because you want the distress to stop,” she says. “Instead, say, ‘I am here, and I am here to talk about what is causing the crying. Maybe we could talk over coffee.’”

Learn more about Korn Ferry’s Employee Experience capabilities.

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